How to handle hatred?
By Julia Fernandes
September 20, 2012
“Love blinds us to faults, but hatred blinds us to virtues.” Ezra, Iba
Hatred, like love is one of the strongest human emotions. All of us have encountered hatred at some point or the other in our life – only the degree of hatred varies. Anybody can become an object of hatred; nobody is insured against this emotion – not even the most beautiful or the best person in this world.
As a Christian, I can give the example of Jesus Christ. Despite being the Son of God and without sin and sans any fault, yet He was not spared this emotion. He was subjected to the worst ridicule and hatred to the point of being nailed on the cross. Such is the power of hatred.
It is easy to hate, but it is difficult to love. No matter how good you are not everybody is going to love you. There will always be people who will not like you. Once you realize this basic truth, handling this powerful emotion becomes a bit easier.
Our self-esteem or self-worth should not stem from the number of people who like or dislike us. It should stem from the secure knowledge of what we are, no matter how the world sees us. As long as you are a good human being, someone who does not hurt or harm anyone, you have no cause to worry.
Having said that, the most challenging place to handle hatred is when you encounter it within your closest relationships – be it hatred for parents, children or hatred between siblings or between husband-wife, or in-laws, or very close friends, etc.
The mind and heart finds it hard to comprehend. Close ties that are supposed to be bound by love ironically have the thread of hatred running between them. So, how do you live and survive with hatred in your closest relationships?
Tough question. The most honest answer is that when you have to deal with hatred in your closest relationships, there is really nothing much that you can do. Except that you can continue to be the person that you are. Let them hate you for what you are not. Do not get tempted to hate them back.
Be what you are; retain the goodness within you. Do not allow their hatred to unfaze you. Some day in the distant future, people who hate you will get to know the real you and at that time love will replace hatred.
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